Times of Faith

I am a product of my American culture. I have the diabolical image of myself that is ingrained in most of us. I think of myself too highly, yet I loathe myself.

From the womb, we are taught to have a sense of entitlement and a sense of fierce individualism. We grow up to think that we must have our way all of the time. We elevate the self to the point of self worship. However, at the same time we are made to feel by the media that we are not pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough, etc. We are enticed into thinking that we must spend our life chasing after earthly “perfection”. We believe that we can find it in ourselves, and often we ruin our lives in the pursuit.

This warped perception of who we are spills out into our religious life. Often our prayers become selfish. We tell God exactly what we want and when we want it. We somehow see God as some genie in the sky.

Most of us have sincere hearts and are unaware that this is what we are doing. We seek God, but are often disappointed with the immediate results. This is often true of those who are in ministry. We have our plan of how things should progress and what exactly the results should be. And these plans are often godly plans, plans that we think will further His kingdom. But we must take a step back and realize that our thoughts are not God’s thoughts. We must pray what can sometimes be the most difficult prayer. “Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done.”

A personal example of this was my desire to do overseas ministry. For most of my adult Christian life, I wanted to serve God overseas. I had spent a total of a year in Ukraine and several weeks in Romania. I really believed my calling was to serve God on a permanent basis in Eastern Europe. However, that is not how things turned out. Due to specific personal circumstances, I had to rule out overseas work. I, of course, was really disappointed and felt lost. However, I prayed that God’s will be done. God, in turn, showed me that I needed to serve Him here at home. Eventually, I found my way to FOCUS North America, and I know that this is where I belong.

On the other hand, we are often filled with such a low self-image that we think we are unworthy to come before the throne of God and ask for what we need. We don’t have because we don’t ask. We can’t accept the fact that we are beautiful creatures made in the image of God himself. Afraid that we might be consumed, we shrink away from the throne of God. Unable to receive His Grace, we suffer needlessly.

So the question is how do we heal this warped image of ourselves? How do we find the medium between self-worship and self-hate? I am starting to see, that the answer lies in humility. Only with humility will we have the correct image of ourselves.

Where do we find this humility? We have to look no further than Jesus Christ who was equal to God but lowered Himself to become man. “He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of a cross” (Phil. 2:8). He is the one who taught us “Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done.”

This is the faith that I want to live for. This is the faith that I am striving for. Lord, give us your servants humble hearts. Help us to heal the image we have of ourselves. Grant us the gift of obedience and help us approach Your throne with confidence and grace.

In just a few days, Orthodox Christians around the world will participate in Forgiveness Vespers. For those of you who are unaware of this tradition, participants bow before every other person individually and ask for his/her forgiveness. Then the other person says, “God forgives.”

For many, this can be a very uncomfortable practice. I, too, struggled with the whole concept of this service the first several times I participated in it, and to be honest, I am not entirely comfortable with it. In fact, I have to face this issue every Sunday. Several monastics attend the church where I am at now, and therefore, the church has adopted the monastic practice of asking for forgiveness from each other every Sunday before the Eucharist. The women sit on one side and the men on the other. The women always bow before each other individually before the Eucharist and ask for forgiveness and the men do the same.

Some of the most common thoughts that I have are, “I don’t want to bow before and hug that person. I don’t know them. It would be awkward.” and “Why ask for forgiveness if I have done no wrong? I have never ever seen that person before. How can I have sinned against them?”

I once had a priest who, when asked about this, would quote Elder Zosima from Fyodor Dostoevsky’s book The Brothers Karamazov.

"My young brother asked forgiveness of the birds; it seems senseless, yet it is right, for
all is like an ocean, all flows and connects; touch it in one place and it echoes at the
other end of the world….Tormented by universal love, you, too, would then start praying
to the bird, as if in a sort of ecstasy, and entreat them to forgive your sin….There is only one
salvation for you: take yourself up, and make yourself responsible for all the sins of men. For
indeed it is so, my friend, and the moment you make yourself responsible for everything and
everyone, you will see at once that it is really so, that it is you who are guilty on behalf of all
for all."

These words are hard to take in modern Western society where the focus is always on the individual. However, I am slowly learning that in the spiritual world the concept of individualism is not always the best way and often doesn’t make sense.

I can have no private sin. Because whether or not my sins have been concealed, they still affect all of those around me. And for that I have to ask for forgiveness. Also, how can I claim that I am not responsible for the depravity in the world when I, too, am part of the human race and have added to the multitude of sins in the world?

Those of us who are in ministry especially need to have a forgiving spirit and heart. Often in working with people in distress, it is easy to feel put out and offended. Sometimes we expect to be treated better for the work we do. However, instead we need to be forgiving and understanding. Not only that, we need to look deep inside ourselves and find out what we need to ask forgiveness for.

This Sunday, let us make a clean start to Lent. Let us ask forgiveness from each other for all sins “whether in knowledge or ignorance, in word or in deed.”

Cultural competency. These two words are heard often in today’s society. For some, these word illicit a negative response; others have a more  positive response.

Fr. Justin recently sent me to a presentation given by one of the social workers at Reconciliation Services-FOCUS Kansas City at their staff meeting. The presentation was on cultural competency.

Part of cultural competency is to know about a culture’s history, traditions, values, family system, and artistic expression. Why is this important and what does this have to do with serving others? You cannot serve someone to the fullest if you don’t understand who he/she is and what his/her background is.

Understanding is one of the key components of FOCUS NA. In fact, it is the “U” in our acronym. We are trying to embody Christ’s ministry on the earth and we exist with the poor, not for the poor. To do that, we must not have a mentality of separating “us” from “them.” Understanding is crucial for this to be achieved. However, one must not just understand where another is coming from. One must understand his/her own personal and cultural values and beliefs. Sometimes, this is the hardest thing to do for this takes deep soul searching and can sometimes be quite sobering and painful.

One of the most interesting parts of the presentation was learning that cultural competency is an ongoing lifelong process and is never fully completed. This may sound disconcerting. However, it makes me think of our spiritual journey as a Christian. We are to constantly be active in the spiritual growth process, but we will never be fully perfected until we are united with the Lord.But it is the journey that matters, what we learn and do along the way. So it is with cultural competency. With each step, we will grow in understanding and be able to serve others in ways we would have never thought possible, knowing that Jesus Christ is the only perfect bridge between cultures.

 We live in a world when words are ambigious and don't have the same meanings that they used to have.

So many words have become a empty shell of the multifaceted layers of deep meaning that they used to convey.

One of these words is “love.” We hear this word tossed around carelessly every day. How can we get a true meaning of this word when phrases like “ I really love that show” are the norm or when words like “ I love ya man!” are followed with little or no action demonstrating this?

This summer, I am trying to look deeper inside myself and grow spiritually. I want God to increase and for my will to decrease. For a few weeks now, one question has been constantly on my mind. What does it mean to love my neighbor?

God commands me to love my neighbor. But what does this look like? What does this require?

To examine this further, I turn to the famous “love passage” ( I Cor 13). To be honest, this is one of the most daunting passages in the Bible for me.

“Love is patient.” However, I am not patient. I get irritated with people too easily.

“Love is not rude. It does not seek its own.” Have I ever loved someone without conditions and without wanting something in return? I really don't know.

“Love... hopes all things.” But don't I often give up hope on people? Don't I so easily give into despair?

All of these things are hard enough to do for people I care about, but what about strangers? How can I behave like this towards people that I have no connection with whatsoever, or better yet, how can I behave like this towards people I geniunely dislike?

The one thing that gives me comfort is the truth that “God is love.” For the most part, God is undefinable and we can only truly “define” God by saying what God isn't instead of saying what He is. However, this statement is one of the few exceptions. God will show me how to love because He is love.

As true as this statement is, one must be careful because there is godly love and there is worldly love. God may be love, but He is godly love, not wordly love. A clear distinction must be made between the two.

St. Nikolai Velimirovich wrote about this in his famous book “Prayers by the Lake.” In prayer XXXIV,

St. Nikolai writes the following:

" Love has three hypostases: chasity, knowledge, and light. Without chastity love is not affection

but selfishness and passion. Without knowledge love is not affection but selfishness and

passion. Without knowledge love is not wisdom but foolishness. Without light love is not

power but weakness. When passion, foolishness, and weakness combine, they become

hell, which is what Satan likes to call 'love.'"

He further writes the following:

"Worldy love, like everything worldy, is only a dream and semblance of Love. Your

love resembles divine love the way smoke resembles flames. When you exchange a

gold coin for copper pennies, you do not call the pennies a gold coin but copper. Why

then do you call divine love that has been broken and ground into ashes by time and

space 'love' and not 'ashes'?"

I am learning what love really is, but it is not something that comes quickly. It is something that will have to seep in my heart over time with the grace of God. But I do know one thing, love is living and breathing. It is not stale and stagnant. Love is action and not only words. To love is to sacrifice. True love will never be easy.

Lord, teach us to love our neighbors (the likeable and the unlikeable) with Your love, not worldy love. Let us not accept the immitation for the real thing no matter how tempting and inviting it seems. Also, teach us to love ourselves in a godly manner, not a prideful love for ourselves but a love that exudes humility. For how can we learn to love others if we can't even love ourselves?

When I was young, it was always my dream to go overseas and serve the poor and needy. It seems that we are always inundated with images of the need overseas and a call of action to remedy it. It is great to be informed of the need overseas and have a desire to help. However, it is easy to get the idea that serving has to be an exotic adventure to a foreign land.

I was blessed to have been able to spend a total of 12 months in Ukraine and a couple of weeks in Romania. A few months ago, I felt like I wanted to do even more overseas traveling. However, certain circumstances prevented me from going overseas again.

Through my disappointment, God introduced me to FOCUS North America and the need in America. It was almost like a veil had been lifted from my eyes. I had always been vaguely aware of the need around me but never really took any initiative to participate in alleviating it. Now, I know that by volunteering with FOCUS North America and Reconciliation Services,one of its partner ministries, I can make a difference in some way in the lives of people in America.

I have also become more aware of the different levels of serving. Right now, my main work is office work like entering donors in the data base, research, and the average office tasks. However, this is still a form of serving. By helping Fr. Justin with the basic office tasks, I am freeing his time up to do the more important tasks of getting this ministry off the ground. When I can, I am also helping out with Reconciliation Services and their work of actively helping the poor and the needy. My volunteer office work is also helping the poor and needy because FOCUS North America can put the money that may have paid someone to do office work directly towards helping people.

In service work, all work is important. We must never get discouraged because we can't do “great things”. Any work, whether it is volunteering to sweep floors or taking out the trash, is a vital service. God looks at the heart and anything and everything that is done through love as unto Him is real service.

However, “love” is the key word when it comes to service. Service without love is nothing. The old adage, “Charity begins at home” is most definitely true. People need to learn how to first serve their family and the people with whom they interact on a daily basis first. If we can't show love and humility towards these people, how are we going to show love and humility to the “least of these”?

I encourage you to look around you and find a way to serve someone today even if that someone is a co-worker who gets on your nerves. After that, go deeper and find out whom you can serve in your community. And, yes, one person doing one small thing does makes a difference in this world and in the spiritual realm as well.

Hi, my name is Faith. I am FOCUS North America's first intern.  Welcome to my blog.  For  my first blog, I want to let people know why I decided to volunteer.

One verse that has meant a lot to me recently is "He must increase, but I must decrease" John 3:30 (NKJV).  Often I get so wrapped up in myself with my problems and my needs. However, my life shouldn't be about me. Christ must increase in my life, and I must root out this selfishness that lies within me.

The gospels teach us that, "He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal"  John 12:25 (NKJV). To achieve this, one doesn't have to give up everything and everyone he loves and become this gloomy, sour-faced christian. In contrast, to do this one must be joyful and passionate. However, the joy and passion can't come from a sense of possesion. The joy and passion has to come from the belief that everything and everyone we have in our lives is a gift from God. When we come to this point, we realize that we can't nor should we hold onto anything. We have to live in the beauty of the moment and be willing to submit to the circumstances that God has placed us in instead of being bitter and clinging to something that was never ours in the first place.

The gospels also tell us to love our neighbors and to love the least of these (the people society scorns and ridicules). It is so easy to say we love people. However, what happens most is that we love the people who love us or who are kind to us. The gospel makes it very clear that this is nothing special.  Even evil people love those who love them.

The gospels call us to a higher love. We must love and take care of the needy and destitute (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). We have to see the image of God in everyone.  The Orthodox believe that God created man in his image and that image can never truly disappear. There might be people who because of the choices they made are hated and reviled. However, deep down that image of Christ is still in them.  When we do something to take care of them or respect them, we are doing that to Christ himself.

Honesty, I haven't quite achieved these virtues in my life. I am quick to judge and slow to love. I believe that by working with FOCUS North America, I can grow in these areas and "work out my salvation with fear and trembling." (Phillipians 2:12).

Another reason why I am volunteering with FOCUS North America is that it will be exciting to see Orthodox Christians in America uniting  together to serve the needy and destitute in America. We are in a new age of Orthodoxy in America.

I am blessed to be with FOCUS North America in its infancy, and I have visions and dreams of what it will  accomplish on all levels through Christ in the next few years.

My last reason for volunteering deals with personal growth.  I am a small town girl. I lived most of my life in a town of 30,000 and have never lived in a city larger than 100,000.

From what I am told, the metropolitan area of Kansas City has around 2 million people.  This is quite scary for me. I know nothing about living in such a big area. Public transportation is quite frightening for me. Through this internship, I hope to learn to go beyond my comfort zone and become independent in a large city.

These are my main reasons for volunteering at FOCUS North America, and I hope that you will continue to drop by my blog and join me on my spiritual and personal journey.